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You are still always a child until your last parent dies

You are still always a child until your last parent dies

Yesterday morning in the early hours of Boxing Day my mother Joy Benson passed away peacefully at home surrounded by pictures of her family and holding her favourite teddy bear. I was with her in the house and I am glad to say that she went gently into the dark night that awaits us all. I was ridiculously pleased that she made it to Boxing Day as saying that a parent died on Christmas Day is one of the great conversation stoppers.

Over the last few months many of our regular customers have asked after my mother and I have been grateful for the concern they showed. and the stories that they have shared with me. At these times one always feels very alone and it is nice to hear that others have trod the same path before. I have particularly appreciated their dark humour, as at times this year laughter has been the only tool left in the armoury. Before I left this morning Ethel told me a joke that made me laugh. A man is walking down a street and he comes across a tall witch wearing a pointed hat and a mighty lion carrying a wardrobe. 'Whatever are you doing' the man asks. 'Narnia business',  the witch replies.

My mother led a long life and had a great many experiences including being a child during the war. She was married to two remarkable men. My father Arthur Swinson who was an author and television maker two of whose books are still in print, and my step-father Martin Benson who was an actor and director of some distinction. Perhaps most remarkably however - and something that will not be known by those who met her here in the bookshop - is that she was the founder and director of an extremely successful arts centre for young people in St Albans where we originally lived. Over the years I have met numerous people whose first appreciation of the arts came from one of the classes run at the centre. She devoted over 15 years of her life to the Arts Centre and I can think of no better way to spend one's time. In a sense many of the activities we have done here at Aardvark over the years find their origin in the early inspiration I got from watching her at work. She had a 'let's put the show on right here' type of ethic that I think I have inherited. I also inherited her beautiful hair which she retained to the end of her life and of which she was incredibly proud ( yes I am aware that at the moment I have more of it than is desirable and desperately need to wangle an appointment with Wendy at the Forge Hairdressers in the village).

2020 has been a year in which there has been simply too much death and dying. Every death leaves a hole in the fabric of our existence, and many of the people who have gone are simply irreplaceable. How to contemplate a world without the gentle humour of Tim Brook Taylor, the extraordinary jazz of Manu Dibango, or for that matter the classical beauty of Stella Tennant. One of the lessons life has taught me over the years is that many of the great and the good pass without one really noticing, but the death of other less publicly lauded  figures engenders feelings of unbearable loss. Only the other day I was talking with some customers  about the untimely young death of the great contralto singer Kathleen Ferrier who died a full decade before I was born, but whose loss many still feel deeply. I only have to catch a glimpse of  the faces of say  Les Dawson, Eric Morecambe or Arthur Lowe before tears start to well up. It is perhaps no accident that all of those whom I've mentioned above are cultural figures. In recent decades less and less attention has been paid to cultural matters in Britain, and yet it is our culture above all that defines us. Can  anybody not directly involved in politics name the current Minister of the Arts. Other than the dismantling of the BBC can any-one name a single government cultural policy. In writing this I do not seek to make a narrow party political point as governments of all political hues have been equally useless when it comes to suppporting the arts in this country

Fortunately for our nation there have been people such as my mother who took a different view and who dedicated their lives to enriching the cultural fabric of their area. Although I would not claim to have achieved anything on the scale of her legacy, I hope that in our events programme at Aardvark we have also been mini-camp followers in the caravan of cultural life.

Of those whose loss I have personally mourned this year, one of the hardest blows came this week when I learnt of the recent passing of Phil Rogers. Phil was so extraordinarily talented that when we held our great ceramics show some years ago an excessive amount of time during the setting up period was spent thinking about whose work we could place next to his. Phil belongs in a unique club of three ( with Bernard Leach and Ernest Francisco Fenollosa ) as people to whom the Japanese have turned for expertise about their own art and culture. He was an expert on the great Japanese potter Hamada, and a simply extraordinary potter of domestic and traditional ware ceramics - working in the Japanese and Korean traditions. He was also I think I need to add at this point, an incredibly nice and decent man, who wore his own distinction extremely lightly. A couple of years ago I finally went out to visit him at the pottery at Rhayader and he was extremely generous with his time, and incredibly informative about his artistic process. I am extremely sorry that I never took up the standing invitation he repeatedly gave me to go and have lunch with him and his wife.

I have mentioned in previous blogs the pleasure that owning one of his pots has given me. His works are transcendent objects that gently lead you down so many different avenues of thought and appreciation. I weep for the pots that will now never be made, as well as for the wife and young son he leaves behind. His gallery Goldmark have a number of publications about Phil available,

But if I may I will end this blog by returning to the subject of my mother Joy. Perhaps the greatest present that she and my father gave their three children, was to be brought up in a house filled to bursting point with books. She loved poetry immoderately, and one of my first memories is of hearing her read 'The Owl and the Pussycat' to me and my sisters. She had a great love of Dylan Thomas also, of Walter de la Mare, John Masefield and many others. When we started our poetry programme here with Anna Dreda, I felt in part that we were following in her footsteps.

But if I may I will end with Dylan Thomas whom she loved above all other poets, and a copy of whose collected works featured prominently on her bookshelves:

And death shall have no dominion.
No more may gulls cry at their ears
Or waves break loud on the seashores;
Where blew a flower may a flower no more
Lift its head to the blows of the rain;
Though they be mad and dead as nails,
Heads of the characters hammer through daisies;
Break in the sun till the sun breaks down,
And death shall have no dominion.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Published by Aardvark Books Ltd on (modified )

2021
So long 2021, and hello 2022 A quick thought Christmas greetings and some sad news Thinking about Christmas John Challis Re-Remembered, Christmas Presents, thoughts on 2022 Independent Bookshop Day, Car Boot Sunday 24th October, books and thanks John Challis Wow weekend, lots of books and even comics Cultural prejudices are no different from any other Patience (how we all have less than we think we have) Aardvark Thoughts from Summer 2021 Cecily Book Launch - visions of the before time The Gentle Pleasures of Re-Reading, Job Applications The book tower of Brampton Bryan Nothing like a week's holiday This week at Aardvark the Three Ps: Pevsner, Penguin and Pots Bank Holiday Happiness, All UK online book orders now sent tracked, sad colleague news Car Boot fully booked, looks like a glorious weekend Aardvark May Car Boot Now Fully Booked, Open Bank Holiday Monday 12 Steps to Moving to the Country (Revised Post Pandemic Edition) Anyone feeling like some love to warm this cold climate? We are open today ( and yes I have seen the forecast AGAIN We are open this Bank Holiday Monday ( and yes I have seen the forecast) New inspiration is on its way We are open all weekend - new cake supplies arriving This week of opening has been a real joy We are now officially open We're Back - Aardvark Books Re-opens 12th April Alison Lurie the best contemporary writer on marriage has left us March 2020:-March 2021: The year the whole world jumped the shark Good day sunshine Good day sunshine Good day sunshine I need to laugh, and when the sun is out I've got something I can laugh about Three cheers for Donna Leon! Sorrows and Joys - the human condition What Makes for Perfect Romantic Fiction The first full week of lockdown ends with hope at last I blame myself Reasons to be hopeful for 2021: Part One
2020
You are still always a child until your last parent dies It was two weeks before Christmas and right through the bookshop New Aardvark Bookshop.org lists for Christmas Small business saturday is soo necessary this year Come celebrate the real spirit of Christmas at Aardvark Books An appreciation for Fela Kuti is just one thing I learnt from my wife Robert Frost was a great poet but not always right Random Thoughts from the New Lockdown 1 Success is a letter in the New Yorker in New York City It's easy like a Sunday morning Look to my coming at first light on the 5th day Don't despair we will still be here, and bookshop.org is here now too! People say I'm a dreamer Lockdown is definitely coming - people are buying games and sex books Yes Santa Claus is coming and you better make sure you have been good! We have sooooo many books in the shop! Little Women is great and Greta Gerwig is fab We will endure, our testament is written in stone Fanshaw Books and a bit of nostalgia Back to the Between Time, Christmas Wow what a ride! CAR BOOT NOW FULL CAR BOOT NOW FULL Musings for the Between Time 5 Car Boot, Car Boot, Car Boot Death of Roger Emmerson, English Civil War Society Musings for the Between Time 4 A coda to my earlier exchange of letters on the bookshop Musings for the Between Time 3 An email from an unhappy customer and my response Musings for the Between Time 2 Musings from the Between Time 1 Coda Musings from the Between Time 1 Random Thoughts from Lockdown - Final Edition Random Thoughts from Lockdown 6 Random Thoughts from Lockdown 5 Random Thoughts from Lockdown 4 Random Thoughts from Lockdown 3 Random Thoughts from Lockdown 2 Random Thoughts from Lockdown Tough times for the book trade, Amadeus Quartet, Lee Miller Documentary Our New Website, more musings, Titian or Titien , books and more Good Friday Blog Back to the new normal Aardvark News: dispatches from behind the lines A llittle kindness goes a long way Oh Boy not what I expected 2020 to bring Cathy Nardiello, the Coming of Spring, London Bookfair, lots more books Lots and lots of new titles A New Year dawns
2018
End of year thoughts Thanks for the Christmas Fair, Poetry Breakfast, 2019 Where does the time go? A return to normality? Autumn Brocante Back from Frankfurt, Brocante on Sunday, Winter Event Autumn returns Long time no blog Bank Holiday Monday - Vide Grenier hoorah! Vide Grenier on Monday, J L Carr Day on 1st September, H.Art opens on the 8th of September Art Books, Angelfest Kingsland, Vide Grenier, Carr Celebration, H.Art Brilliant Scarecrow Sunday, lots of books, looking forward to J L Carr, H.Art and Ludlow Food Festival, sad goodbye Scarecrow Sunday, Applications for Café position, Idle Thoughts of a musical & vinous bent Art Opening - Summer Sextet, Scarecrow Sunday, Radio Fame, Pop-Ups, lots and lots of books Meetings with Remarkable Books, Summer Sextet, Scarecrow Sunday So much has happened, and so much is coming up Fabulous May Brocante about to open ! Don't Forget - Bank Holiday Brocante Bank Holiday Weekend, Out of the Hills Art of the Print, Blue Haze Quartet, new cake selection, looking forward to the Brocante and beyond Bookfair books all stowed away, Art of the Print, Out of the Hills etc Aardvarks Back from Norfolk, Art of the Print, Point to Point, hard pounding What a week its been Busy week in the bookshop, 'Art of the Print', 'Out of the Hills' and Much More Big thanks to all who made Easter so fantastic! Snow again, busy week, April book bonanza, Easter and sculpture, Jazz amongst the bookshelves Snow no more, Borderlines Sponsored Film, even more books Opening Hours 3rd of March Closing Early 2nd March Valentine's event is finally here Spring Fair, Epic victory in Kingsland Quiz, 'The Bookshop' performance at Courtyard, Valentine's Event And so the new year turns Roadworks, new philosophy library and lots of CDs New Year and lots of books
2017
New Year Resolutions 2 New Year's resolutions 1 Nothings gives pleasure more than a good book, a beautiful music and a wonderful view Christmas Fair cancelled, Christmas opening etc Christmas Fair, Aardvark Christmas opening, 2017 Thanks Winter Event - Bill Sewell, Jobs at Aardvark Winter Event, False Lights Review, Aardvark in 2018 Employment at Aardvark Books October Brocante, Frankfurt update, Winter Event Back from Frankfurt, Brocante Sunday, much more to come Syrinx and Harp Arcadia at Aardvark, Frankfurt Bookfair, October Brocante, Weekend helper required 'Syrinx and Harp', October Brocante, new titles in store False Lights, Tickets for Arcadia Music, Stall bookings for October Brocante Ludlow Food Festival, False Lights Book Launch, Syrinx and Harp Why Buy Art? Health updates, Vide Grenier news, H.Art, Literary Ludlow, Book Launch: False Lights Only two days to the Vide Grenier Civil War Weekend continues, H.Art, Literary Ludlow, Launch of 'False Lights' Civil War Weekend Awaits Thank you for best wishes, Re-enactment, History books galore Aardvarks back in the saddle, Jazz Brunch and Sale, Forward to the Re-enactment and the autumn Aardvark is Cyclist heaven, Solstice Exhibition, Changes to Jazz Brunch line up Last weekend of Shropshire Hills Art Exhibition, and opening next week of 'The Solstice' And Humour Books, Music and Art: The answer to all life's problems Mad May Bank Holiday, Shropshire Hills Art Week, Even More Books Catch up, books and forthcoming exhibitions Map exhibition opening, Bank Holiday weekend Last weekend of Fire and Earth Ceramics exhibit, excitement ahead of 'Maps and Mansions', big house clearance An incredible 3 years CDs, Fire + Earth Ceramics exhibition Clwyd Art Fund, Shropshire Books, Map Exhibition, Fire and Earth, Stuart Davies London Book Fair, Building a Library-'Quartet for the End of Time', Books Books Books! In memoriam Paul Williams,London Bookfair Blow Up, Borderlines Film Festival, Blow-Up Part 1 Beautiful bright day, Peter May, Meetings with Remarkable Manuscripts Richard Strauss, Rodrigo on Building a Library, Valentine's Day, Peter Reynolds Musicologist, Art of France Valentine's Saturday Who would have known it - books are back in fashion Busy week at Aardvark Books! Hope Bright clear morning, and exciting events to come New Year 2017
2016
New Year's Eve 2016 Five reasons to be cheerful for 2017! Christmas Eve 2016 CHRISTMAS FAIR 2016 Xmas Fair on Sunday, Greg Lake, Abstract Expressionism at the Royal Academy Grey Sunday morning, but ice free Barbara Strozzi on Building a Library, nearly at the end of Frankfurt Books, plans for Christmas Fair Winter Event, plans for 2017 Wigmore Abbey, Poobahs, Leonard Cohen Summer sun, Wi-fi in Café, working through Frankfurt books, next year's programme Slight wi-fi delay Post Frankfurt, Show tunes, new staff member, the coming of wi-fi to Aardvark Café 9 days of problems, followed by a period of sanity Arcadia continues, Brocante next Sunday, yet more books Arcadia at Aardvark; Arcadia weekend; more book Last day of H.Art, that's it for exhibitions for 2016 Good news on Aardvark H.Art; new books in stock; October Brocante; Arcadia Music Jobs at Aardvark Books; H.Art, Autumn programme H.Art & Ludlow Food Fair Vide Grenier day and the weather is fantastic! Vide Grenier Excitement, David Evans, Jill Alford Sale, More changes Charity Sale Today, Vide Grenier on Monday History Weekend (Day 2) History Weekend; H.Art preparations The Poetry of Ted Hughes So pleased with our 'Take Five' Exhibition Fantastic opening for 'Take Five', wonderful summer sunshine Back from La Belle France to Scarecrows, Art and More Work Too Many Tears Books the ultimate consolation Geoffrey Hilll, Peter Florence,Marking Time, Food and Farming Day To Friedrich Schiller in profound gratitude from a poor bookseller An Artist's Life, tragedy in Yorkshire and France, Folio Society Books Shropshire Hills Art Week Exhibition well and truly open Brocante well underway! Opening times over Bank Holiday Weekend and Half Term Arcadia, Vivaldi, Flea Market, Bank Holidays Bliss was it in that Dawn to Be Alive Last day of the map exhibition; thinking about 'An Actor's Life' Shropshire Hills Art Week, May Brocante, Travel Books Non-Marches Interloper for last week of map exhibition Slow morning Wonderful Carlos Acosta Maps Exhibition Opened, Awful weather, Cozy Fire Maps, books, random thoughts LBF, New York Review of Books, Map Exhibition Yet more changes at Aardvark, H.Art already, more DVDs and loads of art books Busy week, peculiar nature of media, Lots going on in April Easter holidays at Aardvark Easter Saturday, Sad News - Jill Alford No claim to infallibility; lots new in Superb bright Sunday morning; changes to the bookshop Slow start, busy week coming up Stop Press - wonderful children's books Beautiful morning, exciting days and weeks ahead As You Like It, the return of the sun Saturday Morning, the wonder of David Sedaris, Carter Dickson More and more and more books, Lucie starting, 'The Garden' Stunning sunny day, thoughts on London and being a country mouse Death of Mary Campbell, CD Review and R3 Schizophrenia, Wes Montgomery and Milt Jackson, fantastic academic library purchase Great Valentine's Day, Cimarosa, Friday Night Lights, Exciting News of Aardvark Appointment Valentine's Day is upon us Any Questions, Valentines Day, Jacques Rivette, James Lee Burke Two good pieces of news, Valentine's Day, Changes to tax reporting for small businesses and the self-employed, Working at Aardvark, D is for Doyle, Davis, Dexter, Deaver, Carter Dickson, Dunant, Durbridge, Dodge and Dickens Extending deadline for job offer, 'The Garden', Sale Tent Wonderful Royal Ballet, less than wonderful politicians Last weekend of sale - but don't despair Quite a busy month Bookshop and Café Person required B is for Bludgeon, Beaton, Bentley, Berkeley, Martin Beck and Burke First day of aardvark sale, job applications, cold weather, thoughts on the year CVs, Sale and more and more books More books for 2016 A is for Alibi, Ames, Allingham and Ambler Change, Change, Change 2016
2015
Post Christmas Thoughts Japanese Single book bookshop Busy day Christmas 2015 Books and opening times update Flaxman the magnificent; Christmas idea; last chance to see Fantastic day, beautiful morning So many art books and all for sale at incredible prices Only one more Aardvark Event before Christmas! Winter Event arrives on time Paris, Culture, What we leave behind Busy Beavers A wet day ... Autumn alert Frankfurt, Culture and Fleamarkets Through the fog, poetry and much more beside Books take centre stage - but art has a last hurrah! Back to life, back to reality H.Art, Ludlow Food Fair, Craaaaazy! Art, Art and a little food too! Phil Rickman at St James', Wigmore The pleasures of selling a special book The pleasures of Spenser Vide Grenier, H.Art, Non-stop activity Phew! Re-enactment under - our biggest ever Extraordinary evening at Brecon Summer Lightning Great opening! Back from an unsettle France, to a summer of madcap Aardvark Activity Make Your Summer Count! Make Your Summer Count! One door closes ... Long days, the Food Fair Camaraderie History is not Bunk ( it's official) Fantastic Iceland; Countdown to Food Fair Iceland is up, and will open tomorrow! Last weekend of Shropshire Hills Art Week, Food Fair, New Books Food Fair, New Books, Iceland Exhibition Fantastic opening to Shropshire Hills Art Week Bank Holiday Brocante Underway! Non-stop Aardvark craziness Great Lecture, Last day of the map exhibition Quiet days are made for Aardvark Books The Art of the Personal Lest any -one should think that there should be any lowering of the cake quality First week without Catherine; Maps Exhibition bonus; Brocante Update Last day for Catherine; great trip to London Bookfair; New Books in Stock Exhibition; George Butterworth; random culture Sunny Easter Monday; crazy Easter Saturday You heard it here first The exhibition is up; fingers crossed for Saturday! New members of the team; Easter events; Map exhibition Book Buying, CD Buying, Fantastic Eclipse Things I forgot Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. RSC 'Much Ado', new books, Welsh and World Book Day February ending, can Spring be far behind One down ... New Books, New Books Science Fiction; change is afoot New Carpet, Change, the Year Ahead Out of the loop If only we were all Charlie 12 Steps to Moving to the Country
2014
2015 awaits And at last it is Christmas Eve An endless river of books, a dreck day, a warm hearth Christmas Fair 2015 Christmas is very much upon us Christmas in the bookshop Busy Sunday, Wenlock Books Christmas Tree Flea Market Heaven More Upbeat Frankfurt; planning for Brocante Antiquarian Sales, children's books, Frankfurt preparations A quiet weekend, but some great sales! H.art sales! H.art carries on for two weeks Our H.Art exhibition is now hung and ready to open H.art is nearly here Vide Grenier, H.Art and onwards DVDs and CD's at Aardvark Books Day two of the history weekend History Weekend Preparations Previously in Aardvark Books ... Huge library purchase; last copies anywhere of Jo Brand Memoir Food, Food, Food First purchase for next year's map exhibition Why does dealing with publishers need to be so frustrating (2) Why does dealing with publishers need to be so frustrating Culture Vulture HIstory and fun this summer A warm Saturday in June Great response to the inaugural South Shropshire Art Week June starts with a bang Nearly a month on Driving rain cannot stop us What a month it has been Saddest News Imaginable Busy, Busy, Busy Quiet before the storm Thinking about books and bookselling Age recommendations on children's books Sunshine and children's books Theology Books and sunny weather Under the Hammer Valentine's Market All roads lead to Aardvark & Flavours of Hereford Festival Water, water everywhere ... Sale expectations The changing faces of winter 2014 comes with a fast forward button On tenterhooks with V I Warshawski Online Bookshop up at last ; acquisition of major literature library New Year Resolutions